Title: Mary Sue, No, Just No
Subtitle: Why perfect just isn't perfect
Date: November 2, 2005
Alright, time for the first rant of my site. And its all about the infamous character type, Mary Sue! They are classified as the Anti-Sue, Non-Sue, Borderline-Sue, Mary-Sue, Über-Sue, and the Irredeemable-Sue.
Let's start of with a general description of Mary-Sue, perhaps? Yes, that seems perhaps the best way to describe the character all-in-all. Right-o, just for future information, Mary-Sue's can be guys...I'll follow up this rant which can be adapted pretty easily to the male version (whom I call Billy-Bob) with his own unique characteristics uncommon in the female Mary-Sue.
In any case, a Mary-Sue is an author self insertion, end of story, but usuaslly the Mary-sue is better then the author and much cooler and gets nicer adventures.
Mary-sue is perfect, if you have a character that you consider to be perfect, then I suggest you stop and take the Mary-Sue Litmus Test I have created and then finish off the rant from where you left off, which would be the next paragraph. (I mean it too)
Now that you have either taken the test or didn't find it necessary to take the test seeing as you didn't have a perfect character that jumped to mind, let's continue.
After being perfect the next trait that jumps out is her overwhelming beauty. Mary-Sue is completely, outstandingly beautiful. If she isn't overwhelmingly beautiful, then she sure as hell attracts the males with her body. It can be her eyes, her figure, or even how she dresses, but she gets the guys, end of story. Mary-Sue has her pick of any guy. In fandoms she might even be able to worm herself into an official relationship or change the official sexual orientation of the character. As in making a male canon who is known as a fact to be gay fall in love with her. This can also apply to tasteless original fiction.
And no, no, it not going to be every canon character, and maybe a few original, fighting over her. Its not going to be anything like Hercules and Iolaus (best friends) fighting for Mary-Sue, no, no, no, unless you want to count the other thousand or so stories with the same plot.
Next off to bat, is her name. This character will share a name with the author. She might posses the first, middle or last name of her creator. This character might have a name her creator would like to have, or the creator's alias. Digi is one of my characters, however I only call myself Digi online because she is the character I choose to represent myself by, Digi came first, not my online name. Another prime example is Wesley Crusher from Star Trek. The creator of Star Trek, Eugene Wesley Roddenbury, gave Wesley his middle name. So yes, Mary-Sues are in official shows and books used for fan fictions, and are not contained to the fans alone. But I expect double from you guys out there reading this.
Her next quality is personality. Mary-Sue, being as perfect as she is, can either act one of two ways. Her personality is likewise flawless. She has no fault, slow to anger, quick to forgive, kind, friendly, cheerful, and so on and so forth. Need I say how utterly boring it is to read such a perfect character? She can, of course, be like this despite a past with severe abuse, or (this next one is very rare among Mary-Sue) she has a perfect past. Of course the second way is a little more common. She is a chalk full of angst, she mourns over her past which is ranted about later on. She is constantly sorrowful and has no smile. She likes to constantly tell her past just to tell it, not because she was asked.
I mentioned that Mary-Sue has a bad past? Oh jesh, she has one helluva a past. It includes any of the following. Mary-Sue is not living with her real parents, they died, were captured, murdered or just plain abandoned her. She has also been born into slavery, or being a prostitute when older, if the previous statement didn't apply. Of course, another absolute favorite is, she was raped as a child! I don't care if she was kidnapped and raped, raped by her own family, or maybe even same gender. AND if it could at all be managed for an irredeemable-sue, some of the same gender and in her family! Life is great for Mary-Sue, nyeh?
My favorite examples with perfect perfection (personality) and bad past are Snow White and Cinderella. Ever notice how they got the prince's heart in one glance, and were very kind to everyone and almost everyone they met was kind to them save for their wicked stepmothers? Mighty suspicious if you ask me.
Its not over yet, so go barf now because of how sickening she is, you don't want to do it on your keyboard or monitor, now do you?
Now, madam Sue gains a few more traits. I shall list and rant about each and everyone of them.
Mary-Sue is better then sliced bread! She is extremely smart and can fix anything technological in less then an hour with barely more then a hairpin and a piece of gum, a new piece if its complex. She knows everything, her jokes are the best and the funniest around. She's also the best navigator around if she ever deals with ships. She understands anything instantly, and is helplessly heroic. AND her aim is perfect, there's no way one can aim better then her. She can also reform the bad-guy, whom will immediately resume being a bad guy once she dies if she was bad at reforming him or if she's a higher class sue, she made him change his evil ways forever. She is all-knowing. She knows things that no one else know and can do things that no one else should be able to do.
The next bit, in Fan Fictions she will quickly be come one of the, if not the, main characters. She will suck the life out of the plot and make it revolve completely around her. She will get all the glory and the best fights. She will get the most important tasks to boot.
She is a relative somehow someway of a canon character in Fan fictions, or just another character in original fictions. She's the secret love, the twin sister, the long lost mother, aunt, cousin, and so on. Ain't that grand? I hereby blame George Lucas for this trait because of his Luke and Leia being secret twins thing. I don't care what his explanation was in third episode, it still screams Leia being one Mary-Sue. Like I said, I expect double-time from you folks! No saying Mary-Sues are official, and therefore perfectly fine.
What's my next addition to this rant? I know! More about Fan Fiction Mary-sues specifically and any other Mary-Sue. She makes the characters act completely out of character, you know, the ones that will fall in love with her? Yeah, its amusing, but please, try to keep them in character as much as possible.
Is that it, really is this it? I think I might have...aww damn I forgot the last bit! (for female Sues usually) And the most important one at that. Mary-Sue will heroically save the world! She will either gain a grave injury, or, if she's the biggest Sue of all, get herself killed whilst saving one or more people in the process. In my following examples, it's a debatable point as to which gives her a more Mary-Sue flare.
The basic set-up:
Mary-Sue was resting silent as the grave on her linen sheets in the hospital. Her form was pale, and barely breathing, the bandages and some of the sheets stained red with the blood of her injury. Her hands were resting on top of the sheets and even on death's doorstep, she remained as beautiful as she was when Main Character Dude had first met her.
He was kneeling by her bed, he had been for the past two hours, his knees complained, wanting him to use the chair in the room, but he couldn't give himself any luxuries while she hung on a thread like this. Tears slowly rolled down his cheeks as he watched her barely breath, being supported by the mechanical apparatuses attached to her.
Held lifted his warm hand and rested it on top of her lifeless and cold hand. Sinking so he was sitting on his feet he scooted closer to her, resting his cheek on her upturned forearm. Tears continued to fall down his face and onto her limb. Muttering silently, "Please don't die, Mary-Sue. I still need you, so I can tell you how much I love you."
End A:
Main Character Dude sighed slightly and resigned himself to the fact that she would die. Tears fell profusely at this thought and he moved slightly and kissed her cheek gently. As he moved back her eyes gently fluttered open. You guessed it, she actually lived and typically for a Mary-Sue story she and the Main Character Dude lived happily ever after and had a lovely little family off in no where land.
End B:
Suddenly the machines stopped bleeping. An alarm sounded and doctors rushed in, shoving Main Character Dude into the back. As men in white surrounded Mary-Sue, Main Character Dude cried in the corner. Eventually a nurse took pity on him and helped him out of the room and into the waiting room where Best Friend Guy had been sitting, for the past two hours, staring out of the window.
Within half an hour a doctor came to talk to Main Character Dude. Shaking his head sadly he told him that his beloved Mary-Sue was dead and there was no bringing her back.
From here on with B there are two choices. A ends nice and neat.
Choice 1:
Main Character Dude was barely able to contain himself until the doctor left. Wherein he suddenly burst out into hysterics. As Main Character Dude sobbed loudly, Best Friend Guy tried to comfort him. Patting Main Character Dude's shoulder gently Best Friend Guy told him Mary-Sue was in a happier place now, and that he would see her again eventually. But Main Character Dude would not hear of it, not only was he a non-believer, he wanted his precious Mary-Sue now. No one would ever and could never take her place to him. Besides, he was too hysterical to take any words of comfort right now.
Choice 2:
Main Character Dude sobbed silently under his breath as the doctor left, fresh tears spilling down his face. Best Friend Guy silently tried to comfort Main Character Dude, not really knowing what to say. After a little while, Main Character Dude got up, wiped the tears from his cheeks and left Best Friend Guy to wonder what spirit had suddenly possessed him or if he had finally realized Mary-Sue was pathetic and not worth his attention.
Okay, now, folks, if you absolutely must do ending B, please take choice 2, or a slight variant of it. That way Main Character Dude can finally find the love of his life in the form of another Mary-Sue.
This brings me to my final point, Mary-Sue will never die and lives endlessly, she is impossible to kill.
However, in regards to Mary-Sue like characters, no, just no.
The following section is all about Billy-Bob. Just switch and gender related phrases around and ye got the adapted version for Billy-Bob.
Anyways Billy-Bob is a hopeless romantic. Every guy envies him for how easily he can get the girls' hearts. (major problem with making Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho have fan girls with boy friends. Ug!) He blows authority away, yet never gets in trouble. He is supper strong and has amazing abilities.
That is all I have for Billy-Bob.
How about Mary-Sue Deville? Yes she does exist. This is adaptable for Billy-bob Deville, but I'll write it for Mary-Sue Deville. This will be short, sweet and to the point. Don't worry.
She can not be beaten, no matter how good Main Character Dude and Best Friend Guy are she can't be beaten! She has powers that no one has even heard of or are possible in that plane of existence. She never tires and she can't be killed.
So in conclusion, Mary-Sue in any form, no, just no.
Cheers and toodle-pip
~DigiTails